The following is a series of short paragraphs and ruminations regarding different aspects of MMA, Jiu Jitsu, and all things in-between. At present it's unfinished. I have more to include. But for now, here we go ...
Cauliflower Ears
Cauliflower ears are largely a matter of genetics. When I tell people this I get a lot of bewildered looks. One guy even responded with "My Dad doesn't have Cauliflower EARS!" To which I asked "Does your Dad wrestle or practice MMA?" When I say that bumbled ears are a matter of genetics, I mean that certain people are more predisposed than others, which is largely a matter of heredity. But you won't know it until you do it. I know people who have grappled for over 30 years who still have almost perfect ears, and I know others who have hideous ears after only 30 days. If getting cauliflower ears is a concern for you, wear ear protection or else just don't grapple or do MMA. If your looks concern you that much, find another sport.
Smile
Some people hate it when they're told to smile, but that's exactly what I'm telling you to do. Smile! Look at pictures of fighters and jiu jitsu competitors. How often do you see them smiling? They try their best to look tough. As Rickson said, and I think I'm paraphrasing "Tough isn't what you are, it's how you train." A few months ago one of my top fighters was told to not smile for his weigh-in picture. The professional photographer said "Let me see your fight face. Don't smile. Look tough." (I will have to check with my fighter to see if those are his exact words, but they are pretty close). My fighter refused and said he was going to smile. In other words, Geane (the fighter) didn't have to try to look tough. (He has a 5 - 0 record against some very tough opponents, so he already knows he's tough). He knows that he doesn't need to try to be a badass, because being a badass isn't what MMA is about. Or at least it shouldn't be. It should be about doing something you love. It should be inviting to others, not marginalizing. It should give you reason to smile, not stroke or reinforce your ego. Smile! It's about life, not violence.
Reality Check
Go to any NFL coach and tell them you will play for them in about six months, even though you've never played a game of football in your life. Sounds pretty dumb, huh? So imagine what I'm thinking when guys right off the street tell me they want to fight professionally in that same amount of time. I ask them "Have you wrestled?" No. "Have you kickboxed?" No. "Have you competed in jiu jitsu tournaments?" No again. But they're dead serious when they come in and think they can jump in the cage in about six months. I find that very insulting. This is a professional sport like any other. It requires dedication, sweat, blood, time. Maybe it's in a man's hard-wiring to believe he can fight and all he needs is a little brushing up. But you're an idiot if you think that. The absolute barest minimum, at Banks MMA, is one year. And that's pushing it. Please don't come in here and think I will be letting you fight any time soon. And I don't want to hear about your street fighting days, the drunken bums you slopped around in the bars, or the times you stood up to your father. Those all make for nice drinking stories, but they're not material for your portfolio. Expect to work your ass off for a long time. That's the advice I give to all who plan to fight for me.
Friends
Since our environment greatly influences us, we need to make sure our environment is conducive to our goals and happiness. Too many students fall into problems because of situations at home or with their friends and bosses. When I see students having a hard time, I tell them how important it is to get rid of certain people from their lives. A recent event in my life reminded me just how important it is to have the right people in your life, and the wrong people out. I ended an eighteen year friendship with a guy who was always drunk, angry, hated women, pathologically lied, and was arrested more than once for aggravated assault and beating a girlfriend. I didn't realize how badly this man influenced my life. I felt dragged down. I was unable to make positive changes in my life. Last year I decided to ignore all his phone calls and end our friendship. Other than a small immature outburst from him a month or so later, my life improved dramatically. Everything I tried for years to accomplish started coming easily to me. And that's what I recommend to everyone who can't seem to get things right. Get rid of false friends, even if you feel loyalty to them. (I tried ending the friendship years ago, but not until I decided to just ignore him did it ever stick). Take an inventory of the people in your life. Decide who are true friends and who are anchors. Start cutting the albatrosses from your neck. Even though it will be hard to do at first, you will see improvements soon. Your MMA training will greatly improve. Make better friendships. For as the old saying goes, "It's better to walk alone than to have a fool for company."
Kaizen
I'm a very flawed individual. There's no denying that. I have character defects the size of Minotauro Nogeira's head. Ask a handful of people what kind of guy I am and you'll get a handful of answers. They will range from "He's a really nice guy" to "That F'n deadbeat still owes me money!" to "What an arrogant, bombastic, narcissist!" Truth is, they're all true. Well, the second two, anyways. But what allows me to go on is the principle of kaizen. It's Japanese for improvement, and Musashi defines it by saying "Be better today than you were yesterday." That to me sums up Bushido. Notice Musashi didn't say "Be a good person." Because who defines what a good person truly is? Some people consider me a good person, most people don't. But who cares? The definition of good is subjective and malleable. But kaizen (improvement) is a process of evolution. It's the only real principle I teach. Someone recently criticized me for espousing Bushido while I myself fall so short of its standards. Well, he's right, and yet kaizen isn't about perfection. It's about growth. I can truly say I'm a better person today than I was yesterday. And will be even better tomorrow. And that is all, I think, you can possibly hope for. Stop comparing yourself to someone else's standards. Stop trying to be good. "Be better today than you were yesterday." Let those who hate you go on hating you. Who cares? Don't demean yourself by defending your actions or words; or for apologizing for who you are. Does a scorpion apologize for stinging? You are what you are. Accept it. Grow. Be better. Always pursue higher standards, even when those standards seem lower than the norm. Kaizen! Evolve.
