Kaizen

Kaizen is a Japanese word for “constant improvement.” Though it can refer to improvement on any level, such as improving business practices or technical proficiency, I consider it more of a character development concept. It's all about introspection and transformation. What follows is a personal account of my own kaizen.

In early 2010 I took a hard look at myself in the mirror. I didn't like what I saw. Even though I already made huge strides in my life, such as realizing I was a drunk and quitting alcohol completely, losing a great deal of unwanted weight, and focusing on being a better dad, I had some huge gaps in my character. I won't divulge those character flaws right now, but just know that my shortcomings were myriad and massive. When the face at which I stared looked at me disapprovingly, I knew I had a lot of work to do. So I began an almost panicked assault on recognizing and correcting every deficiency I could find in myself.

In April, just a few weeks after having this epiphany of sorts, I took a cruise to Central America. It was during this cruise that I began to understand some things; and I began to make some hard decisions. First, I began to understand accountability. I realized that no one is a victim. Complain all you want about what people have done to you, it is you and you alone who is responsible for all the pain and drama in your life. No one else is to blame for your shortcomings. Second, I started to believe in myself. Rather than beat myself up for my defects, I believed I had the strength and resources to change my life. And finally, I realized it was going to take a consistent effort. No matter who got angry with my decisions, I would follow them through to the end. This was my ABC of Kaizen: Accountability, Belief, Consistency.

So, the first thing I did when I returned to the United States was make some huge changes in my environment. Even though I knew I couldn't blame anyone, I recalled a phrase of Buddha's I read years before: “Choose your friends wisely. It is better to walk alone than with a fool for company.” So I got rid of friends who were negative influences in my life. I especially got rid of an eighteen year long friendship after realizing my friend was nothing but an albatross around my neck. The man had become little more than a woman-beating drunk who always complained about his difficulties in life. I cut the rope and I started to walk more upright. Even after the man retaliated by calling up people to slander my name and create a whole story about me, I stayed the course. I understood that in the end it was all going to be worth it.

I started surrounding myself with quality people. And I made sure that the people in my life had my same basic goals for self-improvement. The more these friendships developed, the more I felt empowered. My belief in myself continued to grow. I became more goal-oriented and could see huge changes. I threw myself headlong into jiu jitsu. I knew I had a long way to go before I could feel truly worthy of my students. I made sure I trained with numerous sparring partners and focused on fine-tuning my skills. I wasn't satisfied with remaining mediocre. As Brandon Lee said: “What level of mediocrity are you willing to settle for?” I decided to raise the bar. And you know what? I discovered jiu jitsu at an entirely new level. I not only grew from a technical standpoint, I learned how much jiu jitsu could improve me spiritually. The people with whom I surrounded myself, and the inspiration I got from fellow jiu jitsu practitioners (such as my new friends at Gracie Barra Orlando), made me realize how much I still needed to go. Jiu jitsu is now the biggest journey I have ever taken and one with which I will never be truly finished. It continues to evaluate me, correct me, transform me. The art is just absolutely beautiful.

During that first year, 2010, it still wasn't easy. I still had a few things smack me in the back of the head to wake me up. I lost a student who I cared about. It showed me that I really needed to become more professional. I needed to not let the boundaries of business and friendship to blur. This was a huge wake up call for me, spurring me on to even higher standards. (I've learned that life isn't about a series of punishments, but a series of lessons. I'm continuing to become educated).

Today, two years later, I still have a long way to go. Though I have made huge strides with the help and inspiration of my friends, family, and students, I won't forget it all hinges on consistency. How many times do some people lose weight quickly only to put it right back on? It doesn't matter what you can do in a few months, it matters what you continue to do for a lifetime. This is what kaizen is all about. It's about admitting the problem, realizing the solution, and to attack the situation immediately and forever, without giving up. It's about making self-reflection and self-improvement a lifestyle, not a mere premise for more self-help books. I hope this personal account helped.